Adult animation · TV-MA
Dead Weight
A homeless mongoose, vampire, robot, and comedian rebuild their lives after a flying rat loses all their money.
[FROM THE CREATORS OF NOTHING YOU'VE EVER HEARD OF…]
[SCROLL. THE MARKET IS OPEN.]
01 The Investment
Rat: Yes. Yes yes yes. I love watching money move.
Rat: Trust me, this is gonna make us rich.
Rat: Look. I bet all of it on Pear.
[THE GRAPH SPIKES UPWARD. HARD.]
Mongoose: Wow. You made a LOT of money.
Rat: Yeah. I can see through time.
Rat: And I can fly.
Rat: Can you fly?
Mongoose: No.
Rat: Can you fly?
Vampire: Greetings! I am a Russian vampire, here to court you for playing the stock market too well.
Rat: Can you fly?
Vampire: No.
Rat: When you have use in society, people really appreciate you.
Girl: I'm the woman of the stock market.
Rat: Can you fly?
Girl: No.
Girl: You believe this guy?
Mongoose: I -- uh. He can see the future apparently.
Robot: Can I interrupt?
Rat: Can you fly?
[THE ROBOT SAYS NOTHING. HIS VISOR FLICKERS.]
Chapter 1, The Investment, as one scene (70 seconds, captioned).
02 Joyride
[THE ROBOT HAS ROCKET BOOTS.]
[THE RAT HAS A TINY HAT.]
[THEY LOOP PAST A FLOCK OF STARTLED PIGEONS.]
[AND ROCKET BACK DOWN.]
Chapter 2, Joyride, as one scene (18 seconds, captioned).
03 The Crash
Rat: Okay. NOW we're going to buy.
How much are you putting in?
[THE STOCK PLUMMETS.]
Rat: Damn. I lost all my money.
[EVERYONE WATCHES IN SILENCE.]
Rat: Okay, so that's, that's a problem.
Mongoose: I thought you knew what you were doing.
Rat: I can fly.
Mongoose: Then why did you use the Robot to fly?
[THE FLYING RAT SAYS NOTHING.]
Mongoose: I GAVE you a fortune. I have NOTHING left!
Rat: You're a mongoose. You live like an urchin. What do you need money for?
Girl: I bet everything on you! You! I cancelled my health insurance for this!
Robot: Totally. I need food and shelter. I can fly though.
Rat: Nice. I'm happy you can fly. You're the only one who's cool here.
Rat: Now then. Ancient shinobi art.
Mongoose: What?
[POOF.]
Vampire: Where did he go?
Girl: Did that rat just ninjutsu us?
Chapter 3, The Crash, as one scene (72 seconds, captioned).
04 Rock Bottom
[HOMELESS SHELTER. NIGHT.]
Vampire: We leveraged all our assets on a man with no scruples, a tiny brain,
Vampire: furry hind legs, and a perfume reminiscent of turd.
Mongoose: It's almost as if we should have seen this coming.
Robot: I've always been homeless.
[EVERYONE LOOKS AT THE ROBOT.]
Mongoose: We find him, and we torture him until money falls out.
Girl: Why don't you just all live inside me?
[LONG PAUSE. THEN THEY BURST OUT LAUGHING.]
Vampire: You should do stand-up.
Girl: You know what? Yeah. Yeah I should.
Mongoose (under his breath): That's actually kind of brave.
Chapter 4, Rock Bottom, as one scene (52 seconds, captioned).
05 The Open Mic
Manager: Another sold-out show.
Girl: My therapist says I use humor to avoid my feelings. I said, that's hilarious.
Girl: I'm not avoiding my feelings.
Girl: I'm just managing them in a fun, fun, legal way.
Girl: I BOMBED AND I'M STILL BROKE!
Girl: 'What's the difference between a stock portfolio and a dumpster fire? One smells better.'
Girl: Nothing. NOTHING.
Robot: I thought it was statistically humorous.
Girl: That's the worst thing anyone's ever said to me.
[SOLIDARITY SMOKING.]
Manager: Man, that was a putrid set. No offense.
Mongoose: Yeah well, we just lost everything to the flying rat crisis. Not too funny.
Manager: Tell you what. I got an empty room upstairs you can all stay in.
Girl: I am so MAD.
Vampire: Are you sure those are tears of anger and not tears of defeat?
Robot: There there.
Chapter 5, The Open Mic, as one scene (70 seconds, captioned).
06 The Room Upstairs
Manager: Just don't make a mess. There's no power but there's running water.
Mongoose: So the rat stole everything.
Vampire: Not everything. He left us the shame.
Mongoose: That's not a consolation.
Mongoose: He wasn't such a bad guy. I knew him for years.
Vampire: I knew him for a day.
Girl: I knew him for twenty minutes and gave him my life savings.
[THE ROBOT SWITCHES ON HIS DRUNK MODE.]
Robot: The stocks just kept going backwards.
Girl: Stocks only go one way, loser.
Robot: That's what they all say.
Vampire: I'll say this: it's the worst experience of my life.
Girl: What are you trying to say?
Vampire: I'm trying to say we're all in this together.
[SOMETHING GENUINE FOR ONCE.]
Girl: I'm gonna need some more of that.
Mongoose: I'm so tired.
Everyone: Same.
Chapter 6, The Room Upstairs, as one scene (66 seconds, captioned).
07 I'm With You Always
[THE BOTTLE EMPTIES. EVERYONE SLEEPS.]
[EXCEPT THE MONGOOSE.]
Rat (distant, echoing): I'm with you always.
Mongoose (seething): That ████.
Chapter 7, I'm With You Always, as one scene (14 seconds, captioned).
08 We Get Jobs
[DAYLIGHT SLAMS IN.]
Mongoose: I SAW THAT ████ LAST NIGHT!
Vampire: It's not like you to freak out.
Mongoose: IF I SEE THAT ████ ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!
Girl: Woah.
Girl (whispered): He's kind of hot when he's unhinged.
[TINY HEARTS PULSE IN HIS VISOR.]
Mongoose: WE'RE GONNA ████ING DIE! Unless...
Girl: What is it?
Mongoose: We get jobs.
[THEY ALL LOOK AT EACH OTHER.]
Girl: That's PERFECT!
Chapter 8, We Get Jobs, as one scene (45 seconds, captioned).
09 Gainfully Employed
Shift one: tear the tickets
Press TEAR as a ticket crosses the line. $1.50 a ticket.
[THE MONGOOSE THREADS FILM THROUGH A PROJECTOR.]
[QUIET WORK IN A DARK ROOM.]
[NO WORDS.]
Girl: Welcome, moviegoers!
Girl: Tonight's feature is a story about loss, redemption,
Girl: and a flying rat who destroyed my credit score.
[A FEW CONFUSED LAUGHS.]
Captain Marsh: ...and that is why form 27B strictly prohibits the use of glitter in evidence bags.
[THE ROBOT TAKES NOTES WITH A TINY STYLUS.]
Robot: I have completed the report.
Captain Marsh: This is just the word 'crime' printed forty times.
Robot: Crime occurred forty times.
Robot: I will now patrol.
Vampire: I am creature of night.
Vampire: I am eternal.
Vampire: I am... wet.
Vampire: Do you know where is the nearest laundromat?
Vampire: This city has no culture.
Robot: I have a job.
Robot: I am police.
Girl: You broke three desks this week.
Robot: Crime is hard on furniture.
Chapter 9, Gainfully Employed, as one scene (76 seconds, captioned).
10 The Parking Lot
Girl: Can I get your advice on something?
Mongoose: No.
Girl: How come?
Mongoose: Taking advice is the death of yourself and the death of others.
Mongoose: I can't be a better you than you.
Girl: I get you.
[HEADLIGHTS SWEEP ACROSS THE LOT.]
Mongoose: Shit.
Girl: Holy shit, you actually came!
Robot: Of course, my love.
Vampire: We found him.
Mongoose: No ████ way.
Vampire: He was seen crossing the border with two kilos of crystal methamphetamine. Not joking.
Robot: He was shot trying to cross.
Mongoose: So that's it? He's just dead?
Robot: Yep. He's no longer mortal flesh.
[SOMETHING BETWEEN RELIEF AND GRIEF.]
Robot: Wine coolers.
Mongoose: Holy shit. I love you guys for sport.
[THE MONGOOSE WATCHES THE CRUISER GO.]
[THE GIRL WATCHES THE MONGOOSE.]
Chapter 10, The Parking Lot, as one scene (71 seconds, captioned).
11 Mind Control
Mongoose: Need anything from the store?
Girl: You know what? I'll come with you.
Mongoose: I was thinking.
Girl: 'Bout what?
Mongoose: About you, actually.
Mongoose: When you think of something, do you ever get pulled to think something else?
Girl: Yeah. All the time.
Mongoose: You ever think it's mind control?
Girl: Oh yeah. Everything can mind-control you. First thing you learn on the stock market.
Mongoose: I think madly of you. But I don't think it's mind control.
Girl: I've really always had a crush on you.
Mongoose: So what now?
Rat (ghost): I am here!
Girl: Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me.
[THE MONGOOSE HOLDS UP A SHINOBI MUDRA.]
[HIS EYES NARROW.]
Chapter 11, Mind Control, as one scene (61 seconds, captioned).
12 The Spectral Plane
The Spectral Plane: a duel
Wait for the amber eye. Then strike.
Mongoose (in Japanese): Looks like you've met your match.
Rat: What language are you speaking?
Mongoose (in Japanese): Prepare for combat.
[ONE SINGLE TELEPORTING SLASH.]
Mongoose (in Japanese): Too slow.
[THE RAT EXPLODES INTO A SHOWER OF MONEY.]
Chapter 12, The Spectral Plane, as one scene (27 seconds, captioned).
13 The Payday
[MONEY RAINS DOWN FROM NOWHERE.]
Girl: Oh my god. We're rich.
Mongoose: I'm rich.
Girl: Huh?
Mongoose: It was my kill.
[THE GIRL SOBS. THEN NODS. SHE GETS IT.]
Mongoose: There there.
Girl: Now I know how a toddler feels when they can't have a Mega Stack.
Mongoose: Or forty million of them.
[SHE CRIES HARDER.]
[HE SCOOPS UP TWO FISTFULS OF CASH.]
Mongoose: Here.
Girl (sniffling): Really?
Mongoose: I'm a mongoose. I live like an urchin. What do I need money for?
[THEY STAND IN A BLIZZARD OF CASH.]
Chapter 13, The Payday, as one scene (49 seconds, captioned).
14 Can I Fly?
[THE SHELTER. NIGHT. THE ROBOT IS ALONE.]
[HE LOOKS AT HIS PHONE. NOTHING.]
Robot: …Can I fly?
[HIS ROCKET BOOTS IGNITE.]
[HE CRASHES THROUGH THE CEILING.]
[SMASH TO BLACK.]
Chapter 14, Can I Fly?, as one scene (23 seconds, captioned).
Dead Weight
[COMING TO SCREENS NEAR WHATEVER DEVICE YOU'RE HOLDING.]
Rat: I'm still here.